Sunday, September 28, 2008

Thank Fuck That's Over

You: "I feel so bad about what happened. I thought I was doing the right thing."

You're one seriously fucked up individual and thankfully I do not know you any more. Buh bye, hope you had a nice flight, buh bye. Douche bag. Enjoy your shitty, reclusive, filthy, lonely, conspiracy filled life.

Moving forward: Now I can concentrate on the things I don't say out loud to anyone else I have to deal with in this world.

Let's start with...you, over there...yes, I've plenty to say to you.

I can't possibly quote all the stupid ass things you've said since I've known you but I will respond:

You're nothing more than a mail order whore. You waltz around like you're the shit but the fact of the matter is, you are actually quite ugly. Inside and out. You play people from both sides and you stick that gigantic honker of yours in to other peoples business and make assumptions based on PART of the conversation you heard.

Know what, hag? I've done more in this life time than you can dream of doing so don't even bother acting like you're better than I am. So you have a lot of money. Actually, you don't have it, your pimp has it. At least you were smart enough to have spawn so you will be set for life but you didn't earn any of that unless you consider fucking a living.

You're mean, you're rude, you're not as smart as you think you are and I'm on to you. And I think you know that I'm on to you. That's why you shut up quickly the other day when I walked in on you trashing someone we both know.

You, are a piece of shit. I'm not impressed. And that's why you don't like me. Oh no. Ow, that hurts.

Not.

I can't wait for karma to pound you in the ass. Of course, knowing what a skank whore you are, you'll probably enjoy it.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Worse Than An Absorbed Teenaged Girl

You: "Is this going to be a good day or a fighting day?"

First off, what a lovely thing to say to me, first thing in the morning. How about, "Good morning" before you start in with the passive/aggressive attitude? (Then, not 20 minutes later you have the audacity to ask me to make you breakfast. Are you serious? You've been sitting there for over an hour...are your fucking hands and legs broken? I JUST crawled out of bed, YOU make breakfast for yourself.)

Second, every day is going to be filled with underlying disgust from me that you don't actively get the fuck up and seek employment. You said yesterday that you were going to "extend" your vacation. Then you changed that to, you'll find work when you are "good and ready". Fucking great. That means you'll never work again.

Seriously, get the fuck off your lazy ass and find a job. Get out of the house during the day and let me do MY work so I can fucking earn some money! Right now I'm interrupted by you all day, every day, no break at all. Because you have to do your music.

Today you have watched yourself on you...........................tube over and over and over and over and over and over again. You're not reading comments, you're not looking at other videos, you are watching yourself, repeatedly, for hours! Fucking narcissist. Why don't you walk around with a mirror held out in front of you so you can admire yourself at all times. Jesus you fucking make me sick with the self adoration.

Put the fucking music away, put the fucking internet down, get up off your lazy ass, stop admiring yourself long enough to get. a fucking. job!

How fucking long is this going to go on? GET A FUCKING JOB!!!

Right now you are sitting outside, screeching at the top of your lungs, (you call it singing....you cannot fucking sing and people who say you can are tone deaf and/or lying right to your face), it's fucking horrifying to have to listen to that shit you call singing. What the fuck IS that? You're screeching and playing your guitar.

GET. the fuck UP. and GET. A. JOB!

God!

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Real World

You: "I want to live in peace and relax."

Yah, as long as everyone does everything precisely the way you want it, kisses your ass, adores you and worships the ground you walk on, tells you how so very special you are, your mommy wasn't wrong, and hands everything to you....with little to no effort on your part.

You do not have to do anything to help your family out. You do not have to make any efforts for anybody. You do not have to be thoughtful. You do not have show empathy for any other living creature. You are the only one who is right, all the time, all day, every day, for now and forever and ever, Amen. The Gospel according to you.

Again, you do not live in reality.

You do not want peace and to relax because every damn day you find something new to piss, bitch, moan and complain about. You whine like no other. You accuse others of living as if everything is do or die...project much? Everything is a do or die situation to you. You get hell bent out of shape over the simplest, most ridiculous things.

You carry on as if your whole town was slaughtered when all that happened was someone threw away a cup of old ass Coke that was sitting in the fridge for a week. You throw a hissy fit that would awe a two year old. You slam things around, say, "fuck" under your breath a lot as well as, "unbelievable" and "I can't trust you" and all sorts of other bullshit. Over things so trivial and small. Oh, I know, they aren't small and trivial to you....but that's just the point. To normal people, to people who can put things in to perspective, they are finite compared to real problems.

You cannot handle reality. You cannot handle the fact that other people do not think you are the tops like your mommy did. Your mommy lied to you. But that's what some mommies do....which is very unfortunate for their kids because their spoiled ass kids grow up to be whiny little bitches just like you.

Boo fucking hoo, the world doesn't revolve around you. You get in to such snits over that and you, daily, cry and carry on about something. So don't you fucking tell me you want to live in "peace and relax" because until you learn to live in the real world, you will never get it. Until you grow the fuck up, stop being such an arrogant, pompous, spoiled, snotty asshole, you will never find peace.

You will continue to blame everyone else for everything that doesn't go your way; you will never see that you, yes you, you and you alone are the reason for your unhappiness. Your lack of peace and relaxation is all on you...no one else.

Idiot.

You Need A Dictionary

You: "I'm on vacation."

No, idiot. You are not on vacation, you are unemployed and are not currently seeking employment. That is not a vacation, that is called, "laziness".

Every day, day in and day out, instead of looking for a job, instead of living in the real world, you sit on your fat ass and watch yourself on that fucking you............tube and think you're a celebrity because a few people left you some comments. It's unfucking real.

Do you really, honestly believe that someone is going to come in and say, "My God! Look at your skill on this forum! I want to hire you as a video producer and director!" Guess what, Sparky, that ain't going to happen. Live in the real world.

You've had everything handed to you your entire life and you have not appreciated anything in the slightest. Now you don't have someone handing you a job....you think one will magically appear, apparently because it has been almost three weeks and you have made zero effort save the one where you thought you were going to be able to sit at home to do. You thought it would be easy.

You were wrong. You didn't pass their test. I've worked in this kind of field before and a trained monkey can do the job...so the fact that you didn't pass the test to get hired should tell you something.

You know, that you're an idiot and have no fucking redeemable skills. That maybe you obsess over yourself too much and that maybe it's time, at this age, to start living in reality. That maybe not everything is as easy as you think it is. It isn't. For a lot of people. For the first time in your life, you are not being handed your demands on a silver platter.

Oh you could be working in a few jobs that have been handed to you but you don't want to drive that far or you won't make tips or this or that or some other fucking bullshit excuse. You think that the prime job is going to float in to your email box one day and you'll start at the top.

No, you won't. You have no education. You have to start at the bottom each and every time you throw a temper tantrum and leave your previous job. You have no education, no skills and you have done nothing with your life. You will have to start at the bottom.

That is not how you want it but that is the reality. The sooner you get started, the better it will be.

Until then, stop saying you're on vacation because what you're on is lazy ass, pathetic patrol. Today, for example, you got up, stared at yourself for a few hours and then TOOK a fucking nap! You got up at 9 and were sleeping again by 1pm. Unbelievable.

Lazy ass mother fucker. Get up and GET a job! For the love of GOD!

You're on vacation...yah, from reality. Twit.

Friday, May 2, 2008

God Loves Me And Has A Sense Of Humor

You: "I said I would plug it in because I needed to oversee the process. It's dangerous to plug things in to an outlet..."

Me: "....."

You said this the other day. I talked about it right here not two days ago. So you'll have to excuse my extreme delight when last night you went to plug in the television and showed me, by your actions, indeed how dangerous it is to plug something in.

See, when I plugged in the extension cord to the same outlet, I did so without any problems. (If you don't count the fucking problem I had with you, that is.) All went well, without a hitch, a-ok, we're roger for take off.

Last night you went to plug the television in to the same outlet. Did circuits get blown? Did the house burn down? Did the entire block blow up? No. So what made it so dangerous?

Could it be that, in your brilliance, when you went to plug in the television, (you were 'overseeing' the entire operation of this one, I was nowhere near it), you managed to fuck it up?

I was in the kitchen. You were crawling behind the television to plug it in. Next thing I hear is:

SLAM! CRASH! TINKLE! BANG! SHATTER! CRUNCH!

You dropped two DVD players, a VCR and a DVR box as well as some irreplaceable china on to the floor behind the television set.

You were right. It IS dangerous after all! But, maybe, in the future, I should be the one to oversee the plugging in process since you cannot be trusted and you are extremely unsafe while performing this highly dangerous task.

And yes, you did look stupid after the hour long lecture you gave me about it two days ago. The best part? You did it all to yourself.

Glorious News

You: "I didn't pass."

Me: "Oh?"

What I didn't say:

Thank you, God. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

And: What did you expect? You don't even have a diploma, what makes you think you would get a job like that? Laziness costs a lot later in life. And now you're paying for it.

Now, all you need to do is put the fucking you...tube away, get up off your ass, find real employment like real people and get the fuck out of the house for 8-9 hours a day and leave me in PEACE! At long last!

Thank you, so much, God.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

In The Beginning...

You: "I wanted that pole."

Me: "Well, then, perhaps you can pay me the $125 that pole just cost me."

So much I say in my mind that I do not say to you that I think sometimes you really should hear no matter how harsh. It's called reality and when you act like a horse's ass all the time, a slap of reality upside your skull is just what you need.

I also need to protect myself so at the present time, I keep many of these thoughts to myself instead of hurling them at you...where they should actually be going. Whatever. We're all selfish in the end, aren't we?

At least that's what you called me yesterday. You only focus on "what you've done for me" and conclude that I've done nothing at all, not a single thing, lifted nary a finger for you. Because you're always right and I'm always wrong, according to you. I think that maybe in time I will prove otherwise when I share bits of conversations here.

And that is why I'm doing this. Also because if I don't do this, I'm going to go nuclear on your pathetic, lazy, simple minded ass one day and you will hurt.

Shall we begin?

How about with yesterday? Remember how you had a herd of cattle because I wanted to plug an extension cord in to the wall and you demanded that you would do it. Well, I've plugged many cords in to the walls over my life time and I think I can fucking manage this, but thank you. I inquired why I couldn't just plug it in and be on my merry way. Your response?

"I'll take care of it. Period!"

"Period." Oh please. You moron. Don't try to get all fucking macho on me. You're a pussy.

Anyway, I said, "It's just a plug....you can't be serious." You got your panties in such a serious wad and yelled, "Fine!" and decided to hold a grudge against me for hours afterwards. I asked you what was going on and you acted like a toddler, refusing to communicate, pretending to sleep, wah, wah, on and on.

Finally you opened up with a volley of insults and even admitted that "it was ridiculous"..that I would think so. In the end, you were right. It was fucking ridiculous. You wanted to "oversee" the plugging in process because apparently plugging in an extension cord is highly dangerous and I'm just far too incompetent to handle the task on my own. According to you. No, you didn't say those words. You implied them. You used words such as "responsibility" and "fire" and "circuits being blown".

You stated that I needed to listen to you, no matter what. When you made a decision, that was it, no questions asked. I needed to "trust" you, you said. Stop asking "why" because you aren't good with words and cannot express yourself. (This is what you said although you were perfectly able to express yourself two hours later to explain this fucking ridiculous idea in your head that I would burn the house down by plugging in an extension cord...the reality of the situation is that you knew damn good and well it was fucking ridiculous but you didn't want to admit that you thought I was talking about fixing up other appliances, not my computer, and you didn't want to admit that you were wrong when you realized I was plugging in my computer, not other appliances....seriously, seek help.) You stated that you are the man and that you need to make the decisions and I need to stop questioning and just go with it. With my things I can do what I want, you said. But with everything else, YOU make the decisions, you said.

An hour or so later the satellite guy shows up. This is my account, my equipment, my money. I have discussed prices with this person. There is a pole in the yard, already. It's a little short but it will work. You decide to freak out over the radiation that the dish emits and make yet another ridiculous assumption that your grandmother will shove her head next to the dish and poison herself on one of her innocent wanderings around the yard. Because apparently she's incompetent, as well. According to you.

You insist on the pole. You demand it, in fact.

I say nothing. Yes, it is MY things and you said I can do as I wish with MY things but apparently you have decided this is YOUR thing now so I stay quiet. And watch you make a fucking dumb ass decision. Because you know everything.

I also said nothing because knowing your sorry ass, you would learn of the price of the pole and tell the guy not to install MY equipment for MY satellite that I pay for.

So, time goes on. You decide to pull me on your lap and sweet talk me, to "reason" with me, to let me know how things are going to be.

You say: "I wanted that pole."

I say: "Well, then, perhaps you can pay me the $125 that pole just cost me."

You are shocked. You don't have much to say right away. Finally, you find the words. You want to know why on earth I didn't tell you that. You didn't know that when you made the decision! You should have been informed! This is a financial decision, you needed to know these things! No one discussed any of the pricing with you!!

Because a) it's my account, my equipment, my satellite.
And b) didn't you just get through saying that I was not to question your decisions? That I was just to accept them because you knew better than me what was right and what was wrong? Ring a bell there, Sparky?

You stated we hadn't even gone one week doing things your way. Well, not two hours in to it and it cost me an extra $125 that you now have to pay half of because you knew best.

Why didn't I tell you? Why didn't I say anything? Because that's exactly what you asked for.

Oops! Did that hurt your pocket book a little bit? Tough shit, asshole.

Will you remember this? Probably not. Because you can't retain shit. But I'm sure, for one fleeting moment yesterday, you may have had an insight in to the reality....that you don't know the fuck that is best and maybe instead of trying to run the place like a damned dictator, you can realize that other people have information and experience and DO know what is best in certain situations.

So don't get all fucking bent out of shape when I ask you, "why?" And don't get self righteous when I try to offer some opinions or advice....getting upset and storming off because it means I don't "respect" you. You fucking twat.

It's not about respect. It's about keeping that fucking $125 and all other $125 in my fucking pocket.

Idiot. (That was about lack of respect. See the difference?)