Tuesday, March 1, 2011

You're Not Invincible

You: "I run this place. I do everything for this place and (the boss) listens to me. I'm in charge around here."

Not anymore. Finally, after years, everyone else is seeing what I've seen since I started working there. You're an idiot. You're a self absorbed asshole. You're a nothing.

You used to cause so many problems. You would cackle, with glee, in the mornings, starting shit, most of it completely made up, and state, "I'm stirring the pot, stirring the pot!" and rub your hands together in anticipation.

You're a sick piece of shit. You get joy out of ruining other peoples days...even if you have to embellish the story or completely fabricate it.

And you did cause problems for a number of people. To this day people are still paying for your shit mouth and the things you said in the past.

But you got yours didn't you, asshole?

You thought you were invincible. You thought you were famous. You thought everyone envied you.

Then you went and smashed your car across the road. You got seriously injured but you didn't want to stay in the hospital. You knew better. You were YOU and you were tough and damnit, no one was keeping you in some hospital bed.

So you left.

And to show off, you came to work, the next day, in your hospital gown, grass and shit still in your hair from when you rolled the car over and you were ejected from it. Hospital bracelet still on. You were helping to open up for the day. Because the place would fall apart without you. That place needed you. And you, by God, were there for that place. Or so that's how you would have everyone believe.

In reality, you were there for a bit of sympathy and for the admiration you thought you were going to get. "OMG! He was in a roll over accident, ejected from the vehicle, air lifted, banged up badly and look, here he is, still in hospital gown, working! What a trooper! How admirable!"


You didn't listen to anyone tell you that you were not ok. You didn't listen when we told you to put your fucking neck brace back on. You didn't listen when we told you that your head was swelling and turning the color of a tomato, right in front of us. You knew better, in fact, here were your release papers, you were giving them to the boss so you could start driving again. We were all idiots and trying to bring you down.

You were invincible.

So two days later, you hopped on your bike and went to the tavern to show off to your friends. And I'm sure they rallied around you, talked about what a great guy you were, how strong you were, how amazing you were...and you ate that shit up, didn't you?

And got drunk. And high on cocaine.

And got back on your bike to go to the local biker club to show off some more.

And that's when you fucking wrecked your bike. You blamed it on a dog, some people blamed it rival bikers following you even though you're not in a club, I think you were just drunk, high and a fucking twat.

And you were airlifted again.

And this time you stayed in a coma for months. You almost fucking died, you moron. You had brain damage. You couldn't walk. You were a mess on the verge of death.

Eventually, you came back. AND STILL you didn't want to listen to reason. You wanted to work right now! But the boss, thankfully, is more interested in protecting himself against liability and told you no. But you hung out, constantly, anyway.

And sometimes you cried and said you were a changed man. You didn't remember much and it "hurt" you to hear how you had been such a racist fuck to one of our co-workers. You were going to do things differently. You were going to settle down, stop being such a fuck up.

One year later, you're back to being a fuck up. You're back to using people. You're back to talking shit about people and "stirring the pot". You're back to your self absorbed attitude.

Only this time, everyone is laughing at you. Everyone is mocking you. Everyone is making fun of you behind your back and straight to your face.

I know you're faking a lot of things right now. You're making everyone believe that some things are still "injured" but I know you're full of shit. Your memory still isn't the best but it's better and you slip up from time to time and reveal that you remember more than you let on, for example.

You're not 100%, you may never be, but you are perfectly capable now and you have gone right back in to that shit way of being. Causing problems again, talking shit, making shit up, starting drama and watching it unfold because you are selfish.

But this time, no one is impressed with you. No one admires you. No one is in awe. Not even the boss, as much as you cling to that, not even the boss.

Someone else has taken your spot. You fought it at first but you realize now that you have to accept it because if you say anything, someone will rat you out simply because how you've treated people there in the past. And you know, you'll never be on top again.

You lost.

You're still trying but you lost. And you're done. You are no longer viewed as top dog, the whole reason for the business, like you were at one time. You are now viewed as just another body that works there.

You got what you deserve. You were and still are a fucking selfish prick. And I enjoy watching you suffer through it every moment. Karma's a bitch. Fuck you.

I Knew But Played Anyway

You: "Don't ever forget, I love you."

You really are not as clever as you think you are. You thought I believed all your lies. You thought I believed you were something you were not, the character you portrayed. Those moments of silence? Those weren't acceptance of your story, they were periods of time where I had internal dialogue with myself saying, 'Does this asshole actually think I believe his crap?'

I was not impressed with your stories of triumph over others, I was not impressed with what you claimed to have, I was not impressed with your hard time, I was not impressed with your "fists of glory" or that you claimed to be able to rip a phone book in half. Really? Prove it. You were asked to, you never did. Because you're full of shit.

I certainly didn't believe you when you stated that you loved me. Please. Do you think I'm desperate and need to hear that? Then again, maybe I was desperate for some entertainment considering how long I hung out with you.

I knew that almost every last thing that came out of your mouth was a lie. Everything you said to try to impress me was a lie. Even when you realized that I was so very unimpressed with the drugs you took and the alcohol you drank, you couldn't impress me with your lies that you didn't have anything that "whole day". Because I knew that was a lie, as well.

You, like many others, have spent your entire time around me, lying. I don't know why you all feel the need to do that....I guess you realize you just aren't all that or you think I'm better than you, I don't know.

What I do know is that if you would quit showing off for fucking 20 seconds and actually apply yourself to life in a real, honest, hard working manner, you'd be a hell of a guy.

But you won't do that. It's easier for you to live in a fantasy world, hazed by drugs and alcohol. You can't accept your reality. It's too painful for you. You're weak.

Reality isn't always pleasant, I fucking know, too well. And most people don't like to hear how unpleasant reality is. They all think you're looking for a pity party and not just sharing what actually has happened to you along the way. You're not allowed to share that.

Unless, you embellish it to make yourself out to be some kind of bad ass. Then it's ok. Right?

You're a loser. You didn't have to be but you are. You even lie to yourself.

Did I believe you when you said you would come back for me one day? Not a bit. I'm not sitting here waiting because I know you'll never show.