Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Worse Than An Absorbed Teenaged Girl

You: "Is this going to be a good day or a fighting day?"

First off, what a lovely thing to say to me, first thing in the morning. How about, "Good morning" before you start in with the passive/aggressive attitude? (Then, not 20 minutes later you have the audacity to ask me to make you breakfast. Are you serious? You've been sitting there for over an hour...are your fucking hands and legs broken? I JUST crawled out of bed, YOU make breakfast for yourself.)

Second, every day is going to be filled with underlying disgust from me that you don't actively get the fuck up and seek employment. You said yesterday that you were going to "extend" your vacation. Then you changed that to, you'll find work when you are "good and ready". Fucking great. That means you'll never work again.

Seriously, get the fuck off your lazy ass and find a job. Get out of the house during the day and let me do MY work so I can fucking earn some money! Right now I'm interrupted by you all day, every day, no break at all. Because you have to do your music.

Today you have watched yourself on over and over and over and over and over and over again. You're not reading comments, you're not looking at other videos, you are watching yourself, repeatedly, for hours! Fucking narcissist. Why don't you walk around with a mirror held out in front of you so you can admire yourself at all times. Jesus you fucking make me sick with the self adoration.

Put the fucking music away, put the fucking internet down, get up off your lazy ass, stop admiring yourself long enough to get. a fucking. job!

How fucking long is this going to go on? GET A FUCKING JOB!!!

Right now you are sitting outside, screeching at the top of your lungs, (you call it cannot fucking sing and people who say you can are tone deaf and/or lying right to your face), it's fucking horrifying to have to listen to that shit you call singing. What the fuck IS that? You're screeching and playing your guitar.

GET. the fuck UP. and GET. A. JOB!


Monday, May 12, 2008

The Real World

You: "I want to live in peace and relax."

Yah, as long as everyone does everything precisely the way you want it, kisses your ass, adores you and worships the ground you walk on, tells you how so very special you are, your mommy wasn't wrong, and hands everything to you....with little to no effort on your part.

You do not have to do anything to help your family out. You do not have to make any efforts for anybody. You do not have to be thoughtful. You do not have show empathy for any other living creature. You are the only one who is right, all the time, all day, every day, for now and forever and ever, Amen. The Gospel according to you.

Again, you do not live in reality.

You do not want peace and to relax because every damn day you find something new to piss, bitch, moan and complain about. You whine like no other. You accuse others of living as if everything is do or die...project much? Everything is a do or die situation to you. You get hell bent out of shape over the simplest, most ridiculous things.

You carry on as if your whole town was slaughtered when all that happened was someone threw away a cup of old ass Coke that was sitting in the fridge for a week. You throw a hissy fit that would awe a two year old. You slam things around, say, "fuck" under your breath a lot as well as, "unbelievable" and "I can't trust you" and all sorts of other bullshit. Over things so trivial and small. Oh, I know, they aren't small and trivial to you....but that's just the point. To normal people, to people who can put things in to perspective, they are finite compared to real problems.

You cannot handle reality. You cannot handle the fact that other people do not think you are the tops like your mommy did. Your mommy lied to you. But that's what some mommies do....which is very unfortunate for their kids because their spoiled ass kids grow up to be whiny little bitches just like you.

Boo fucking hoo, the world doesn't revolve around you. You get in to such snits over that and you, daily, cry and carry on about something. So don't you fucking tell me you want to live in "peace and relax" because until you learn to live in the real world, you will never get it. Until you grow the fuck up, stop being such an arrogant, pompous, spoiled, snotty asshole, you will never find peace.

You will continue to blame everyone else for everything that doesn't go your way; you will never see that you, yes you, you and you alone are the reason for your unhappiness. Your lack of peace and relaxation is all on one else.


You Need A Dictionary

You: "I'm on vacation."

No, idiot. You are not on vacation, you are unemployed and are not currently seeking employment. That is not a vacation, that is called, "laziness".

Every day, day in and day out, instead of looking for a job, instead of living in the real world, you sit on your fat ass and watch yourself on that fucking and think you're a celebrity because a few people left you some comments. It's unfucking real.

Do you really, honestly believe that someone is going to come in and say, "My God! Look at your skill on this forum! I want to hire you as a video producer and director!" Guess what, Sparky, that ain't going to happen. Live in the real world.

You've had everything handed to you your entire life and you have not appreciated anything in the slightest. Now you don't have someone handing you a think one will magically appear, apparently because it has been almost three weeks and you have made zero effort save the one where you thought you were going to be able to sit at home to do. You thought it would be easy.

You were wrong. You didn't pass their test. I've worked in this kind of field before and a trained monkey can do the the fact that you didn't pass the test to get hired should tell you something.

You know, that you're an idiot and have no fucking redeemable skills. That maybe you obsess over yourself too much and that maybe it's time, at this age, to start living in reality. That maybe not everything is as easy as you think it is. It isn't. For a lot of people. For the first time in your life, you are not being handed your demands on a silver platter.

Oh you could be working in a few jobs that have been handed to you but you don't want to drive that far or you won't make tips or this or that or some other fucking bullshit excuse. You think that the prime job is going to float in to your email box one day and you'll start at the top.

No, you won't. You have no education. You have to start at the bottom each and every time you throw a temper tantrum and leave your previous job. You have no education, no skills and you have done nothing with your life. You will have to start at the bottom.

That is not how you want it but that is the reality. The sooner you get started, the better it will be.

Until then, stop saying you're on vacation because what you're on is lazy ass, pathetic patrol. Today, for example, you got up, stared at yourself for a few hours and then TOOK a fucking nap! You got up at 9 and were sleeping again by 1pm. Unbelievable.

Lazy ass mother fucker. Get up and GET a job! For the love of GOD!

You're on vacation...yah, from reality. Twit.

Friday, May 2, 2008

God Loves Me And Has A Sense Of Humor

You: "I said I would plug it in because I needed to oversee the process. It's dangerous to plug things in to an outlet..."

Me: "....."

You said this the other day. I talked about it right here not two days ago. So you'll have to excuse my extreme delight when last night you went to plug in the television and showed me, by your actions, indeed how dangerous it is to plug something in.

See, when I plugged in the extension cord to the same outlet, I did so without any problems. (If you don't count the fucking problem I had with you, that is.) All went well, without a hitch, a-ok, we're roger for take off.

Last night you went to plug the television in to the same outlet. Did circuits get blown? Did the house burn down? Did the entire block blow up? No. So what made it so dangerous?

Could it be that, in your brilliance, when you went to plug in the television, (you were 'overseeing' the entire operation of this one, I was nowhere near it), you managed to fuck it up?

I was in the kitchen. You were crawling behind the television to plug it in. Next thing I hear is:


You dropped two DVD players, a VCR and a DVR box as well as some irreplaceable china on to the floor behind the television set.

You were right. It IS dangerous after all! But, maybe, in the future, I should be the one to oversee the plugging in process since you cannot be trusted and you are extremely unsafe while performing this highly dangerous task.

And yes, you did look stupid after the hour long lecture you gave me about it two days ago. The best part? You did it all to yourself.

Glorious News

You: "I didn't pass."

Me: "Oh?"

What I didn't say:

Thank you, God. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

And: What did you expect? You don't even have a diploma, what makes you think you would get a job like that? Laziness costs a lot later in life. And now you're paying for it.

Now, all you need to do is put the fucking away, get up off your ass, find real employment like real people and get the fuck out of the house for 8-9 hours a day and leave me in PEACE! At long last!

Thank you, so much, God.