Wednesday, April 30, 2008

In The Beginning...

You: "I wanted that pole."

Me: "Well, then, perhaps you can pay me the $125 that pole just cost me."

So much I say in my mind that I do not say to you that I think sometimes you really should hear no matter how harsh. It's called reality and when you act like a horse's ass all the time, a slap of reality upside your skull is just what you need.

I also need to protect myself so at the present time, I keep many of these thoughts to myself instead of hurling them at you...where they should actually be going. Whatever. We're all selfish in the end, aren't we?

At least that's what you called me yesterday. You only focus on "what you've done for me" and conclude that I've done nothing at all, not a single thing, lifted nary a finger for you. Because you're always right and I'm always wrong, according to you. I think that maybe in time I will prove otherwise when I share bits of conversations here.

And that is why I'm doing this. Also because if I don't do this, I'm going to go nuclear on your pathetic, lazy, simple minded ass one day and you will hurt.

Shall we begin?

How about with yesterday? Remember how you had a herd of cattle because I wanted to plug an extension cord in to the wall and you demanded that you would do it. Well, I've plugged many cords in to the walls over my life time and I think I can fucking manage this, but thank you. I inquired why I couldn't just plug it in and be on my merry way. Your response?

"I'll take care of it. Period!"

"Period." Oh please. You moron. Don't try to get all fucking macho on me. You're a pussy.

Anyway, I said, "It's just a can't be serious." You got your panties in such a serious wad and yelled, "Fine!" and decided to hold a grudge against me for hours afterwards. I asked you what was going on and you acted like a toddler, refusing to communicate, pretending to sleep, wah, wah, on and on.

Finally you opened up with a volley of insults and even admitted that "it was ridiculous"..that I would think so. In the end, you were right. It was fucking ridiculous. You wanted to "oversee" the plugging in process because apparently plugging in an extension cord is highly dangerous and I'm just far too incompetent to handle the task on my own. According to you. No, you didn't say those words. You implied them. You used words such as "responsibility" and "fire" and "circuits being blown".

You stated that I needed to listen to you, no matter what. When you made a decision, that was it, no questions asked. I needed to "trust" you, you said. Stop asking "why" because you aren't good with words and cannot express yourself. (This is what you said although you were perfectly able to express yourself two hours later to explain this fucking ridiculous idea in your head that I would burn the house down by plugging in an extension cord...the reality of the situation is that you knew damn good and well it was fucking ridiculous but you didn't want to admit that you thought I was talking about fixing up other appliances, not my computer, and you didn't want to admit that you were wrong when you realized I was plugging in my computer, not other appliances....seriously, seek help.) You stated that you are the man and that you need to make the decisions and I need to stop questioning and just go with it. With my things I can do what I want, you said. But with everything else, YOU make the decisions, you said.

An hour or so later the satellite guy shows up. This is my account, my equipment, my money. I have discussed prices with this person. There is a pole in the yard, already. It's a little short but it will work. You decide to freak out over the radiation that the dish emits and make yet another ridiculous assumption that your grandmother will shove her head next to the dish and poison herself on one of her innocent wanderings around the yard. Because apparently she's incompetent, as well. According to you.

You insist on the pole. You demand it, in fact.

I say nothing. Yes, it is MY things and you said I can do as I wish with MY things but apparently you have decided this is YOUR thing now so I stay quiet. And watch you make a fucking dumb ass decision. Because you know everything.

I also said nothing because knowing your sorry ass, you would learn of the price of the pole and tell the guy not to install MY equipment for MY satellite that I pay for.

So, time goes on. You decide to pull me on your lap and sweet talk me, to "reason" with me, to let me know how things are going to be.

You say: "I wanted that pole."

I say: "Well, then, perhaps you can pay me the $125 that pole just cost me."

You are shocked. You don't have much to say right away. Finally, you find the words. You want to know why on earth I didn't tell you that. You didn't know that when you made the decision! You should have been informed! This is a financial decision, you needed to know these things! No one discussed any of the pricing with you!!

Because a) it's my account, my equipment, my satellite.
And b) didn't you just get through saying that I was not to question your decisions? That I was just to accept them because you knew better than me what was right and what was wrong? Ring a bell there, Sparky?

You stated we hadn't even gone one week doing things your way. Well, not two hours in to it and it cost me an extra $125 that you now have to pay half of because you knew best.

Why didn't I tell you? Why didn't I say anything? Because that's exactly what you asked for.

Oops! Did that hurt your pocket book a little bit? Tough shit, asshole.

Will you remember this? Probably not. Because you can't retain shit. But I'm sure, for one fleeting moment yesterday, you may have had an insight in to the reality....that you don't know the fuck that is best and maybe instead of trying to run the place like a damned dictator, you can realize that other people have information and experience and DO know what is best in certain situations.

So don't get all fucking bent out of shape when I ask you, "why?" And don't get self righteous when I try to offer some opinions or advice....getting upset and storming off because it means I don't "respect" you. You fucking twat.

It's not about respect. It's about keeping that fucking $125 and all other $125 in my fucking pocket.

Idiot. (That was about lack of respect. See the difference?)

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